Mixed Doubles

by John Schoneboom

Evil Julian was selected for his intellect, cunning, and political astuteness to lead the secret society and re-establish British authority after Rhodes' colossal failure in the Transvaal. Julian was clear eyed and ate his victims' agony for breakfast. He was here, he was now, he was all. But where was Helen? Indeed, who was Helen?

Ah, there she is, observed Julian. How obvious her falsity is to the likes of me. I, who ran England with one hand while pursuing adolescent boys with the other; I, who shall bring all habitable portions of the globe under my personal control.

"Well hello Helen," he professed aloud. "How wonderful it is to see you again."

As he approached her, something unwarranted happened. The world itself began to rumble and tear apart, as if in response to the hellish proximity of Helen's falsity and Julian's multiple webs of deceit.

"Nooooo!" they screamed as the world was rent in half. It would appear that somebody else would have to impose an indemnity of two and a half million francs on the Chaouyas tribes and bombard Casablanca. So it goes.
Evil Julian was selected for his intellect, cunning, and political astuteness to lead the secret society and re-establish British authority after Rhodes' colossal failure in the Transvaal. Julian was clear eyed and ate his victims' agony for breakfast. He was here, he was now, he was all. But where was Helen? Indeed, who was Helen?

Ah, there she is, observed Julian. How obvious her falsity is to the likes of me. I, who ran England with one hand while pursuing adolescent boys with the other; I, who shall bring all habitable portions of the globe under my personal control.

"Well hello Helen," he professed aloud. "How wonderful it is to see you again."

As he approached her, something unwarranted happened. The world itself began to rumble and tear apart, as if in response to the hellish proximity of Helen's falsity and Julian's multiple webs of deceit.

"Nooooo!" they screamed as the world was rent in half. It would appear that somebody else would have to impose an indemnity of two and a half million francs on the Chaouyas tribes and bombard Casablanca. So it goes.
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