Real Estate Boy

by John Schoneboom

Grotty Edna shared a room with Jenkins, an arrangement with which she had neither qualms nor arguments. Jenkins, for his part, seemed to be indifferent if not hostile to the situation. Not only did he complain bitterly about having a roommate, he rarely acknowledged Edna at all, claiming instead that his roommates included some sort of alligator he insisted lived just under the bed.

Grotty Edna's feelings were hurt by all of this, naturally. Her injuries notwithstanding, she knew at once what she must do about it.

She decided to help him out, by way of showing a generosity of spirit that would diminish any triumph in his leaving. She began to investigate creative financing options herself.

She soon found a desperate seller who was willing to be abject about the financing. When she approached Jenkins and told him she had arranged to assume an existing mortgage where the seller would learn to think of his equity in nebulous fluid terms around an ill-defined concept of fair market value, the boy was stunned.

"That's great!" he said. "When do I move in?"

"You?" said Edna. "I'm afraid you've grabbed this thing by the wrong handle here."

When they were very old, they would sometimes look back on these events and be unable to remember them.
Grotty Edna shared a room with Jenkins, an arrangement with which she had neither qualms nor arguments. Jenkins, for his part, seemed to be indifferent if not hostile to the situation. Not only did he complain bitterly about having a roommate, he rarely acknowledged Edna at all, claiming instead that his roommates included some sort of alligator he insisted lived just under the bed.

Grotty Edna's feelings were hurt by all of this, naturally. Her injuries notwithstanding, she knew at once what she must do about it.

She decided to help him out, by way of showing a generosity of spirit that would diminish any triumph in his leaving. She began to investigate creative financing options herself.

She soon found a desperate seller who was willing to be abject about the financing. When she approached Jenkins and told him she had arranged to assume an existing mortgage where the seller would learn to think of his equity in nebulous fluid terms around an ill-defined concept of fair market value, the boy was stunned.

"That's great!" he said. "When do I move in?"

"You?" said Edna. "I'm afraid you've grabbed this thing by the wrong handle here."

When they were very old, they would sometimes look back on these events and be unable to remember them.
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